Statement in Support of Claim for Service Connected Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
In December of 1991 as my unit was preparing for deployment to Desert Storm, I came home on Christmas Eve to discover that my wife of 5 years had packed her bags and was leaving me and my infant daughter. She left that evening and did not return. I was overcome with panic and worry. I could not comprehend being deployed and having no one to care for my daughter.
My fear of hostile military or terrorists activities became unbearable. My situation, being the single parent to my infant daughter was not a temporary issue. My family was unwilling to help. When I asked them to care for my daughter while I was deployed, their response was “Sorry, we cant help.” I had no other means to alleviate this problem.
I began to have vivid nightmares of my daughter being left in the care of abusive Foster Parents. I had constant worry about our future and faced daily stress over having to give up my career in the Air Force.
Because of this I was forced to request a Hardship Discharge from the US Air Force. My initial application for discharge was denied. It was at this time that I began to think about suicide. My thought process was...If my daughter was going to be alone in this world, I might as well make it a quick process.
For the next eight or nine months I watched members of my squadron deploy in support of Desert Storm. I begged my commander to not include me in these deployments and although he was aware of my situation he would not promise me that I could remain in garrison to care for my daughter.
On top of the nightmares and daily worries, I became obsessed with trying to find a way out of the Air Force. I could not focus on my duties at work and found it difficult to even care for my daughter. I considered desertion and suicide on almost a daily basis. The nightmares continued and my anxiety became increasingly difficult to live with.
Because of the initial application being denied, I asked my Congressman (Hon. Herbert Bateman of Virginia) for help. In December of 1992, I received word that my application for a Hardship Discharge was approved and that I would be released from active duty on March 20th 1993.
I continue, to this day, to suffer from PTSD as initially diagnosed my Dr. XXX at the XXX NC VA Outpatient Clinic and confirmed by Dr.XXX at XXX.
Life before service
My family background is traditional, having both mother and father living under the same roof, that also included interaction between grandparents, uncles/aunts and their children. Family get- tog-ethers were common, Christmas time, with all of the family together, stands out in my mind the most.
I graduated high school in June of 1986 and enlisted in the US Air Force in August of 1986.
Life during military service
I was married to my high school sweetheart in December of 1986 after completing basic training and tech school. I was assigned to the 7XXX Squadron where I excelled. I loved the Air Force life. I treasured the close ties to my fellow unit members. In October of 1989 I became a father to my lovely daughter XXX. My life was right on course, I had a great family and an awesome career ahead of me.
In December of 1991 as my unit was preparing for deployment to Desert Storm, I came home one evening to discover that my wife of 5 years had packed her bags and was leaving me and my infant daughter. She left that evening and did not return. I was overcome with panic and worry. I could not comprehend being deployed and having no one to care for my daughter.
My fear of hostile military or terrorists activities became unbearable. My situation, being the single parent to my infant daughter was not a temporary issue. My family was unwilling to help. When I asked them to care for my daughter while I was deployed, their response was “Sorry, we cant help.” I had no other means to alleviate this problem.
I began to have vivid nightmares of my daughter being left in the care of abusive Foster Parents. I had constant worry about our future and faced daily stress over having to give up my career in the Air Force.
Because of this I was forced to request a Hardship Discharge for the US Air Force. My initial application for voluntary discharge was denied. It was at this time that I began to think about suicide. My thought process was...If my daughter was going to be alone in this world, I might as well make it a quick process.
For the next eight or nine months I watched members of my squadron deploy in support of Desert Storm. I begged my commander to not include me in these deployments and although he was aware of my situation he would not promise me that I could remain in garrison to care for my daughter.
On top of the nightmares and daily worries, I became obsessed with trying to find a way out of the Air Force. I could not focus on my duties at work and found it difficult to even care for my daughter. I considered desertion and suicide on almost a daily basis. The nightmares continued and my anxiety became increasingly difficult to live with.
Because of the initial application being denied, I asked my Congressman (Hon. Herbert Bateman of Virginia) for help. In December of 1992, I received word that my application for a Hardship Discharge was approved and that I would be released from active duty on March 20th 1993
Life since the PTSD event
I began to see a Psychiatrist (Dr. XXX) after I was separated and was diagnosed and treated for PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Since leaving the Air Force, I have found life difficult and trying for me. Many times over the last 20+ years and even more often in recent times, I have felt that ending my life would be best solution for me.
I have looked back on my life and feel that I have accomplished little in my life, my depression has taken its toll, and I'm very tired because of this depression.
I am an "Emotional Stuffer" in every sense of the words. I do not convey my feelings nor do I express my feelings to anyone very well. I have a difficult time being open and not wishing to hurt other people's feelings. During several times of great stress or anger, I have lived in isolation away from everyone.
My daughter, who I gave up my career for, will not speak to me. We have not spoken since 2006. I don’t even know where she is.
First, Severe Depression: I experience it. It can occur for no reason and without warning, coming from out of nowhere, or during times of stress. Secondly, Anxiety: I am constantly worried about the future.
I have an anxiety attack after bouts of anger. They have occurred in both my personal and professional life, which has led to breakups of relationships, 2 marriages and loss of employment.
I am currently taking ZOLOFT 200mg per day for Depression and Anxiety, Trazadone 100mg per day for sleep and nightmares and Remeron 40mg per day for Depression.
I have suffered not only mentally but physically also. I have had 3 major surgeries to replace 2 hips and one shoulder due to Avascular Necrosis. I have Chronic Pain, Colitis and I suffer from scleritis and my vision is deteriorating. I take eleven different medications for my problems including extensive narcotic pain medicine (Hydromorphone 4mg twice a day and Morphine 180mg twice a day).
I now live on Social Security Disability. I continue, to this day, to suffer from PTSD as diagnosed in January of 2010 by Dr. XXX at the XXX NC VA Outpatient Clinic(see treatment records from VA Medical Center Fayetteville). Dr. XXX states, “Veteran suffers from severe mental health symptoms, severe situational stressors and insufficient coping skills and supports." Dr. XXXof XXX confirmed the diagnosis of PTSD (SEE VA Form 21-2680 dated March 9th, 2012).
