First post-old time viewer. I'm rated as 90% disabled (70% PTSD, 20%DMII, and a mulitude of 10's which reaches a VA math of around 91%) My
orignal C&P exam which rated me at a GAF of 45 and listed the following diagnoses:
AXIS 1-309.81 PTSD, AXIS 2-V7109 no diagnosis, AXIS 3 Hypertension, AXIS 4 Chronic severe emotional problems, phase of life concerns, AXIS 5 GAF 45
Beck depression inventory 35:
The C&P (from 26 Jan 06) narrative states "results of this exam are consistent with a diagnosis of PTSD , chronic, severe. His symptoms are directly attributable to his horrific and life threatening combat experiences in Vietnam. His clinical presentation was consistent with the results of psychological testing. This veteran has structured his life in such a way that he can, at times, appeared to have successfully staved off a complete exacerbation of his PTSD symptoms. However, his ability to do so effectively is currently being taxed. His difficult postwar adjustment, workaholic style and self reported symptoms are hallmark features of PTSD. I suspect that his mental health will continue to deteriorate such that he will no longer be able to function adequately either at home or in the work place. I strongly urge this veteran to seek treatment for this condition".
I've been going to mental health appointments every since, but I am concerned that my mental health doctor seems to be saying I am getting better by focusing on the fact that I maintain good eye contact, and that I dress neatly, rather than focus on the issues that bother me. I think they are trying to cure me on paper and not my mind. In the past six months my GAF ratings have ranged from 50-55, and very little is said about the emotional issues that I am having such as anger management, paranoia and inability to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night as well as nightmares. Specifically, I have been discharged twice from work for aggressive behaviour in the past four years and I've had a difficult time finding employment for the past year. I've had two fights in the past year which is really stupid for a 61 year old and countless verbal altercations. I'm not crazy--normally I am mild manner and polite to almost everyone, but sometimes I just lose it. They change my meds everytime I go in there and merely asked in a dozen different ways am I going to kill myself or someone else. I always say no, but sometimes I don't trust myself.
In VN our unit (TF Gerry Owens under BG Hamlet) was awarded the Presidental Unit Citation at An Loc in 72, I received four valor awards, and finally ran out of luck and picked up a PH in my 10th month. The moral of that story is that if you're gonna get hit hell get it over with in the first 90 days rather than going through the whole damn tout. The hardest part for me is remembering the guys I lost through mistakes I made. It weird--I spent 20 plus wonderful years on active duty and was able to keep all this stuff blocked off in the back of my mind--I just didn't go there. In the military I always knew I was part of a proud team-a team which watched out for me and a team that I watched out for as well. The friggin civilian world is different. First of all they don't post road guards LOL, but the worse part is that they're only concerned with profit and will use up good folks and tear apart good teams in a heart beat. Most of my confrontations in the work place came from trying to keep a good team together. I've spent nearly 15 years out here and made good money, but always had to look over my shoulder for the corporate political knife. Finally, my wife of 30 plus years made me go to VA back in 06--said she was pretty sure I was crazy and needed to talk with someone, or she would finally leave. Otherwise I would have never gone to VA.
I just re read this and realize that I am meandering all over the place. Sorry guys. Thanks for listening. God Bless our troops. Cavtrooper088