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As the widow of a two term vietnam vet, I have to totally agree with all here -- PTSD is the killer and the hardest of all things to deal with. It is also very frustrating that it is also the least recognized disability -- and that makes the struggle much more difficult on many levels. My husband had throat cancer from agent orange -- recovering from that and the many physical challenges that came with it was very easy compared to trying to overcome the beast that finally killed him -- PTSD. The problem with PTSD I believe is this -- it is so often treated as a mental illness or a mental disorder -- and in fact it is a very human series of reactions to extreme trauma -- and the trauma is not easily overcome because it is REAL. Horrific trauma scars just as badly as bullets and spears - - and just because the wounds are hidden deep within the human heart does not make those wounds any less real. Often PTSD leaves a person feeling inadequate, isolated, lost. It is like a Tsunami of the heart -- giant waves of pain that emanate from the blasted interior landscape - and its perhaps the most painful thing for both the person and for all that love him or her to deal with. The fact is that when we expose people -- good, tender, gentle people -- to the horrors of war - we cannot expect that they will come back unscared and unchanged. It is tragic that for so long Veterans have not had this pain acknowledged in a way that lifts them up and heals them rather than in a way that demoralizes, judges, and further scars them. PTSD is the product of a horrific reality -- and reality is reality -- we are all the sum and total of our realities and when the reality is very different and much more horrific than the reality of others around us -- it creates a vacuum of isolation. Recognizing and affirming the reality makes the interior reactions and responses much more understandable and much easier and less painful to deal with. Honoring the heroism of those who have suffered and served -- and who continue to suffer for their service with each breath is key to creating a bridge over this isolation.

Lots of prayers to all who are now going through the pain of this -- walking that walk is like walking over fire - and watching a person each day being consumed from within by the horrors of war -- and loving that person with all your being -- well -- there is nothing more difficult.

My love for my husband - in spite of the pain that came with it - was more than worth it -- in fact, loving him was the best thing I did with my life - and losing him every moment is the hardest.

Darlene