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        <title>KIA'd family member wants to talk to me</title>
        <link>http://vets.yuku.com/topic/73111/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me</link>
        <description>
        <![CDATA[ On March 2, 1991 a young man was killed with us in AZ Zubrya Iraq. There were actually 2 guys killed and 4 or 5 wounded that afternoon. This is my alpha or index trauma. I have had a huge amount of guilt over this for the last 20 years. Today a friend of mine from my old unit called me and said the widow of one of those men called. He said this young man had a 3 year old daughter at the time of his death. She said they have never been told how her husband/father had been killed. My buddy told... ]]>
        </description>

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		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:40:43 GMT</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/552002/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-552002</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ RLTW, &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Thank you. It's fellow vets like yourself that help the rest of us through when it seems impossible. I really do think there is power in vets helping vets. If you find a way down, we'd be honor'ed to ...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/552002/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-552002">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/552002</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 17:46:13 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551997/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551997</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ redfish wrote:I do believe I will definitely take the advice of both. The letter first and then meet them at the infantry museum at Ft. Benning where the memorial for our unit is. Thank all of you again for the awesome advice. I'm actually looking forward...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551997/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551997">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (RLTW64)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551997</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 17:12:44 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551963/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551963</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I do believe I will definitely take the advice of both. The letter first and then meet them at the infantry museum at Ft. Benning where the memorial for our unit is. Thank all of you again for the awesome advice. I'm actually looking forward to some possi...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551963/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551963">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551963</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:18:56 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551917/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551917</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ kids always want to know what their dad's were like that they lost in war.
start with a letter first as others have suggested.  safe for you and gives them time to get to know you and prepare some questions about their dad from the letter info you give....<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551917/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551917">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (steelhead69)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551917</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 13:31:45 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551839/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551839</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ My 2 cents...Try starting out with your memories of this person BEFORE the incident of his passing. Talk about what he was like just as a general person and fellow soldier. This may make it easier to "transition" into talking about other things.Good Luck ...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551839/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551839">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Varkchief)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551839</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2012 04:37:53 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551604/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551604</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ She must have great respect in you as a brother soldier and a friend to her father.  She just wants to know you.  She just wants some but not all details.  State that he was strong and was up to doing his duty.  Your honesty will give her strenth.  My gue...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551604/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551604">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (motocardio)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551604</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:57:45 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551533/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551533</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I think I agree with NM, I had the same thing happen to me about 10 years ago, 30 years after the fact.  The wife tracked me down via email and then I spoke on the phone with her and a daughter. I thinking gave them closure but it also gave me closure.  U...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551533/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551533">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (LouF)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551533</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 14:17:45 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551463/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551463</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I have been through a similar scenario...in this case, I suggest the letter first...then a face to face.&nbsp; In that way, the ice and issue are broken and you can share things on an even keel and footing. &nbsp;&nbsp; ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (nmfxstc)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551463</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:32:59 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551459/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551459</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ Thank you. We are planning a trip to the Ft. Benning memorial again this year. I'm hoping they can meet us there. I sure do not wanna try to get into this on the phone. This kind of advice is hard to come by. ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551459</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 09:37:30 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551439/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551439</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ These are very tough times to go thru, but one thing you should keep in mind is what if you were that child and never knew what happened to your dad.  We all understand in these trying times that it will be tough and challenging, but it will be a sense of...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551439/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551439">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (RLTW64)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551439</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 05:31:59 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551400/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551400</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ The best thing you could do for the kid AND yourself is tell the story honestly, in person, so she can ask questions if need be.  Some of these kids are really lost, and it will be healing for you and her.

Mo ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (MoNamVet)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551400</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 03:49:12 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551387/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551387</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ Thnx guys. I really appreciate the kinship I get here with this kind of stuff. ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551387</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 03:13:46 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551356/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551356</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ You must step up to the plate on this one.&nbsp; It hurts now, but the end result will be that this child will have closure.&nbsp; You need not be graphic, but honest.&nbsp; I guarantee, this will help you in the long run.Blade5th Special Forces Group (Mi...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551356/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551356">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Blade)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551356</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2012 01:25:48 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551298/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551298</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ redfish.
I agree with the idea of offering to write a letter.  Explain to her it is difficult to talk about.  But prehaps you can do it if you have the time and privacy a letter affords.  If I were her I would accept.  If it were me, it would not so much...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551298/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551298">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (distantsmoke)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551298</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 23:23:06 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551262/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551262</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ &nbsp;peace be with you&nbsp; bro'... ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (jpapa)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551262</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:28:47 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551257/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551257</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ if she calls, tell her you will write a letter to her.&nbsp; maybe a personal letter would help both of you....you can take your time and say what you feel you need to say-in private. ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (mazboy)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551257</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:18:46 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551254/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551254</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ Thank you YD. Any and all words are appreciated greatly. I am sure I will break down greatly. I don't know if I can get through it with them but they deserve to know and I feel it an honor to share it with them. If I can get it out. ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551254</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:13:57 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ Re: KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551251/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551251</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ redfish wrote:On March 2, 1991 a young man was killed with us in AZ Zubrya Iraq. There were actually 2 guys killed and 4 or 5 wounded that afternoon. This is my alpha or index trauma. I have had a huge amount of guilt over this for the last 20 years. Toda...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551251/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me#reply-551251">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (yellowdog)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/reply/551251</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:07:17 PST</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[ KIA'd family member wants to talk to me ]]></title>
			<link>http://vets.yuku.com/topic/73111/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ On March 2, 1991 a young man was killed with us in AZ Zubrya Iraq. There were actually 2 guys killed and 4 or 5 wounded that afternoon. This is my alpha or index trauma. I have had a huge amount of guilt over this for the last 20 years. Today a friend of ...<br /><a href="http://vets.yuku.com/topic/73111/KIAd-family-member-wants-to-talk-to-me">Read More</a> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (redfish)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://vets.yuku.com/topic/73111</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:40:43 PST</pubDate>
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